More Background

So to understand where someone is going you have to know something about where they have been. I was born they third of four children of a middle class family in Oregon. My family always says I was the perfect child. I never cried as a baby and as a toddler I would stay where I was put. Because I was so easy, I became the child my dad like to spend time with. My older brother and sister were a little on the defiant side so I just stayed out of the way and tried to stay out of trouble. I started first grade with the hopes of any child, but it didn't take long for me to realize I didn't fit the public school box. I had a hard time learning to read and write. Math was also a problem for me, but the thing that surprise me the most was that I was always getting into trouble. When I didn't understand what the teacher was trying to teach I would ask a neighbor. That would result in me being moved to the hall to work on the assignment I didn't understand. When the teacher wanted to see how much work I had gotten done, she would get more frustrated because I hadn't done anything. Now I would spend my lunch trying to do an assignment that I didn't understand. Of course they blamed me for not understanding. The old saying, "If you would pay attention, you would know what to do" became the mantra of my first grade teacher. Other students seemed to know things I could not grasp. The harder I tried the future I seemed to get behind. I felt like I was trying to swim upstream. I could never catch up. When I look back at my memories of first grade I don't remember the name of my teacher or what she looked like, but I do remember how disappointed she was in me.

Motovation

I have decided to return to school at the age of forty-nine. I graduated from college in 1983, that's 27 years ago. I already feel like I am in over my head. I had to take the GRE this last week. That was the hardest test I have ever taken. How does a test about analogy's tell anyone about my ability to succeed in Graduate School? What makes me a great candidate for Graduate school is the life that I have lived and the experiences I have had.

The motivation to go back to school comes from my children. I have four; three sons 28, 21 and 12 and one daughter 18. I think I will refer to them by number in case I said anything embarrassing about them. I don't want to make them mad. This is my thing not theirs. A little bit about each child. Number one is a child my husband had when we met. He was five and I fell in love with him the day I met him. He has never felt like a step-child to me. School was easy for him and he made us look good. The school he went to thought I was great. I was PTA president and I thought parenting was easy. Number two, my first baby, my dream come true. This child had a harder time in school. He is dyslexic. Because of the dyslexia he had a hard time learning to read and write. He started at the school that loved me and things went quite well. We moved to a new neighborhood and he had to move to a new school for the third grade. This school did not already love us and did not seem to understand his disabilities. They labeled him a behavior problem and that is when I began to see how hard school can be for children with learning disabilities. Child three, my only daughter. This child was a whip, a charm. She had the world by the tail the day she was born. A dad and two older brothers who adored her and gave into her every desire. Good thing school came easy for her. In kindergarten she was the only child in her class who could tie their shoes at health screening. She loved everything abut school and it loved her back. Reading and writing was and still is her strength. Number four, a child born late in my life. This child came into the world four weeks early and with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. They rushed him off because he wasn't breathing and it seemed like a lifetime before we herd his cries from the other room. His dad and I cried with relief and joy and dubbed the child "prince". Four was an easy baby and toddler. He seemed to have a charm similar of his sister. That changed when he entered school. Like most kids kindergarten went fine, but we started seeing signs of dyslexia in the first grade. He had a hard time learning to read and write. We were concerned about the way he held his pencil. This child has an easier disposition then two so I could talk to him about his struggles. He works very hard and wants to do well, but he gets frustrated because teachers don't understand his struggles. Today he said to me, " For teachers to like you, you have to morf to be like them and I don't want to do that."



This is where my motivation to return to school comes from......My children!!!!!